After a week or so of chemo, I am back to myself. This time was not as hard as the last time. I have another PET scan to do on 7/19/2010 and the next chemo is scheduled for 7/29/2010. From now on it is maintanance for the rest of the time until I am gone from this world, or until my body can't take it anymore, or until I dont want to do it anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I should even keep on doing this chemo thing. If I have a year or two to live like the doctors say, why waist it being so miserable all the time??? From the month I only get a week or a week and a half of enjoying life. The rest of the time, I am either in chemo or recoperating from the chemo!
I also want to thank my amazing co workers, friends and neighbors for all they have done while I am undergoing chemo. They have paid my bills, gave me cash, gas cards, groceries, cooked dinner for my entire family and much more. And I am still wondering where my family is?????
Let's take my dad for example: I was in intensive care for almost 4 days back in March when they found out I had cancer, he did not visit the hospital. The excuse was that " you know he hates hospitals". WTF !!!! I hate them too!!!! And still there I was! After that and had a meeting at my house to explain to all the family what was going on and what was going to be happening to me and he came to that. After that my brother had a graduation party for my niece and I saw him there. I have not seen him since. I know I am not his favorite, but come on, give me a break! These are the times I want to scream: WTF.. WTF...WTF...
But people say it all the time, who needs family when you have such great friends!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Terminal Cancer!!!
I had my 4th chemo this morning. I know I will be feeling bad starting tomorrow, so I decided to write today. Went to the doctor also this morning before chemo and she was very informative, so we asked lots of questions. I have another pet scan on July 19 and then we start with the maintanance part of this cancer thing. the doctor informed me that what I have is terminal cancer. That was shocking!!! I had checked online and kind of knew this in the back of my mind but when you hear this from a doctor it just shocks the crap out of you!!! Then you come home and you ask yourself all the questions.. Why me??? Is this a punishment???
To have terminal lung cancer means that the cancer will not go into long-term remission - remission is when the cancer "goes to sleep." It will continue to grow and reside within the host's body until it eventually takes their life. There are things that can be done to extend my life, but unfortunately, terminal cancer of any kind means that it will end in death.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, more people die from lung cancer each year than any other cancer including breast cancer, prostate cancer and colon cancer combined!!! the problem with lung cancer is that the majority of the people diagnosed with this do not know they have lung cancer until is too late or by chance.
Myself for example, I have never smoked in my life!!! Besides being a little overweight (...ok... a lot!!!) I was healthy compared to other people and much younger than others. I had the swine flu in October 2009 and drove myself to the emergency room where they did an X-ray of the chest. This is when my regular doctor noticed there was something there that should not be there. So, I am thankful for the swine flu, because at least I know there is something wrong with me... Other people wont know until is too late.
But then, I ask myself... did I want to really know I had cancer??? Would it have been better if I did not know and waited until it was too late??? Damn questions keep on coming to my head!!!!
To have terminal lung cancer means that the cancer will not go into long-term remission - remission is when the cancer "goes to sleep." It will continue to grow and reside within the host's body until it eventually takes their life. There are things that can be done to extend my life, but unfortunately, terminal cancer of any kind means that it will end in death.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, more people die from lung cancer each year than any other cancer including breast cancer, prostate cancer and colon cancer combined!!! the problem with lung cancer is that the majority of the people diagnosed with this do not know they have lung cancer until is too late or by chance.
Myself for example, I have never smoked in my life!!! Besides being a little overweight (...ok... a lot!!!) I was healthy compared to other people and much younger than others. I had the swine flu in October 2009 and drove myself to the emergency room where they did an X-ray of the chest. This is when my regular doctor noticed there was something there that should not be there. So, I am thankful for the swine flu, because at least I know there is something wrong with me... Other people wont know until is too late.
But then, I ask myself... did I want to really know I had cancer??? Would it have been better if I did not know and waited until it was too late??? Damn questions keep on coming to my head!!!!
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