It has been a looong time since writing in this blog. I have been sooo depressed lately but a lot of things have happened. I had a port put in for the chemo. It was one of those outpatient mini surgeries. They do a small insicion above your right breast to insert the round object. Another small insicion in your neck next to your main artery or vein (not sure!). It looks like the picture in the side of this blog. So, when I go for chemo treatments they can go to that one spot and save my veins from my hands and arms. I will continue with chemo every 3 weeks for the rest of time or until i dont want to do it anymore, or my body is not able to tolerate it. It is sooo weird because you can see it through my skin and if you touch it you can actually feel the tube and all. It also comes with a serial number!!! Just in case I get lost, I guess! lol
I just did a CTscan today. I have been having some excrusiating pain in my stomach, i think they are ulcers but who knows! Hopefully is not the cancer that has spread. We will know tomorrow.
Tony, my 5 year old, started Kindergarden!!! And my other son which is 17, started his senior year in high school! Not sure how that happened but whatever! So, for Tony in Kindergarden every time the kids do something wrong they make them pull a stick from a basket, after 3 sticks in a day they send them to the principal's office. In the first 15 days of school, Tony pulled sticks on 10 days!!! WTF ....
So, things are not going so hot! So, I emaile dthe teacher to introduce myself and let her know that now that I have nothing to do all day, I would love to volunteer my time and help out, be a parent helper, or whatever they call it these days, I also explained my condition to her about the cancer and all that. Her response to me was, and I quote, "that explains his behavior"!!!!!????? WTF ????? He is 5 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is he the only one pulling sticks from the darn basket????? And dont get me wrong, I know shit like this happens, I took several phychology classes in college, but come on.. seriously!!!???
I am also having serious issues regarding my family! I wonder what would have happened if it was teh other way around?? What if one of my brothers or sisters were diagnosed with cancer?? How would I have reacted??? Would I just do the same and never call, or visit, or give a shit????? Dont they realize that i could be gone tomorrow???? I just hope that if/when I die, they are not hipocrits that cry a river and scream out loud... Why??? WHY??? WHy????
ok.. now I am beaing a little dramatic! lol
But, as all of you may know by now, you know who your true friends are when something like this happens. And I am so glad I know who my true family and friends are!!!
One more thing... my support group leader told us that if we wanted to buy something, just go for it.. just forget about the needs and wants and just go for it... what ever makes me happy... So I did! I went an bought a kobo ereader from Borders! I really wanted it that day, I really did... However, 10 days later, I still have not used it... Taking it back tomorrow.. never listening to my support group leader again!
